While there have been talks of a rematch, Kalivas just might concede beforehand. A year later, the two still haven’t settled on a name for their future family. Overtime wasn’t possible, as the two brides had to rush out to have their hair and makeup done for that evening’s festivities, so the verdict was left undecided. So there was a lot of passion on the field.”Īs luck would have it, a last-minute call-which West still contests-resulted in a tie. “While Martha’s family is from Texas and also have a very strong heritage. “I have immigrant parents who are very proud of our heritage,” Kalivas explained.
The match, which was filmed for The New York Times Vows section, was an emotional experience for both families. “We told friends and family and everyone got on board and loved the idea.” The two even dubbed the event "Game for the Name." “We both played college soccer and are crazy competitive,” explained West. “A last name like Bird, there is no question, the better last name.”īut what if the answer isn’t always as clear-cut? Rather than flip a coin, Martha West and Tanya Kalivas chose to host a soccer match on the day of their rehearsal dinner to determine whose name they would adopt. Bird, for instance, much preferred her wife’s surname over her maiden name of Schwartz. The common decider among most couples was simply opting for the more pronounceable or pleasant-sounding name. “My husband’s name is Barrett, so I think we would probably go with that.” “Having been saddled with an unpronounceable name, I wouldn’t want to put my kids through that,” he said. And while Rovzar is against changing his name for career reasons, the editor says that it’s a different story for his future children. “The real impetus to changing my name was knowing we were going to have children, and we wanted them to feel part of one family and not have different names,” explained Ali Bird, director of The Wall Group, who adopted her wife’s surname back in 2007.
Yet some couples that never considered changing their names when entering marriage reconsider the issue when contemplating the possibility of having kids. But when gender norms go out the window, the decision can take on a whole new level of complexity and confusion. And then there’s the rare case of a husband adopting his wife’s name, like Zoe Saldana’s spouse, Marco, who opted for his wife’s surname. Adding a second last name is a popular alternative, à la Angelina Jolie Pitt or Beyoncé Knowles-Carter. Tradition has long dictated that a woman is to adopt her husband’s name after marriage, and while more women than ever are choosing to keep their maiden names, the majority- around 80 to 90 percent, studies have shown-still abide by the old custom.
#XVIDEOS GAY MARRIED CODE#
Planning a wedding always presents a series of conundrums: Should a couple settle on a ceremony upstate or a quick trip to City Hall? Will there be chicken or fish for dinner? Will the dress code be black tie or cocktail attire? But for same-sex couples that decide to tie the knot, there’s one question that requires an even lengthier discussion: Who gets to keep their last name?